Huggable me

Caution…….

Advice to Beginners

 

Never hug a porcupine

Or try to squeeze a snake,

Though hugging’s good for most of us

Use care, for safety’s sake.

 

The bull, the shark, the elephant

Are dangerous hugs for sure,

A cuddle could have side effects

For which there is no cure.

 

Who you should or should not hug

Is often hard to tell.

Why, if you tried to hug a skunk

You might not like the smell.

 

But when it comes to human beings

Just put your fears to rest.

You’ll find most arms are open to

A simple hug request.

 

 

 

 

I am a nurturing, caring person, I am a huggable person.  I give hugs to everyone.  I just love it a lot.

Sometimes I hug people just because I need that little bit of love and comfort myself.  I am just human and sometimes need a bit of attention and love too.

Hugs are like a good kind of cheap medicine:  It is fully organic, it is naturally sweet, it has no pesticides, it has no preservatives, there are no artificial ingredients, it is 100% wholesome.  Like we are told it is a good thing to smile at people because it makes them feel good and it costs nothing, well hugs are like that to me but just a lot more.

Hugging is very healthy for you: It helps the body’s immune system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression (really), it reduces stress, you will sleep much better, it invigorates you, it rejuvenates you, it has NO unpleasant side effects and it is like a miracle drug!!!  It can make you feel good all day.

Hugging is practically perfect:   it has no movable parts, it needs no batteries, it needs no periodic check-ups, it does not use a lot of energy, it has a high energy yield, it is inflammation proof, its non-fattening, it has no monthly payments, it requires no insurance policies, it is theft proof, non-taxable, it does not pollute the air, and best of all, it is fully returnable!

A hug is the perfect gift, one size fits all, yeay! 

Some people are not huggable people because they simply don’t like people touching them, even those who love them.  They are simply too ‘prickly’ to hug.  But I even hug those – especially those people – I think they need it more than anyone else.  We tend to steer clear of the people who do not seem touchable or huggable.   But we must not forget that those people also need physical, human contact.

In August at Johan’s funeral, a little girl asked me why I wanted to hug her and why she must hug me and I told her it’s to squeeze love into her, but it works both ways, the more she squeezes me, and the more I squeeze her back, we squeeze love into each other.  And it’s the honest truth.  I love hugging and touching people because I show I care about them and love them and want to spend my time with them.   I value them enough to want to share a part of my love with them. 

Most of the “fun facts” about hugging comes from a great organisation called Life Line – Masithethe Counselling Service -and I thank them for their wisdom and guidance.  I did a personal growth course over 10 weeks with the awesome counsellors from their East London office, the best 10 weeks of my life.  I completed their Counselling course afterwards and enjoyed it just as much and use all their planning, advice, and training daily.  But the one thing that always sticks in my mind is the fact that I learned that hugging is my way of expressing my love for all my peeps around me.  I get a warm, fuzzy feeling of love when I hug those around me.

And it is all good.

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Creating something out of nothing

I would like to tell you about our East London Adult Autism Newspaper Project, as a mom, this is a very important project to me.

In July 2016, we, the Autism SA staff met for a week of training and team building in Johannesburg and in that week we had the opportunity to meet Lungi – Balungile Sokhulu – and learn about the Newspaper Recycling project at the Johannesburg School for Autism.  Because I am a mom of a 19 year old young man with ASD and manager and co-founder of Autism Sinethemba Early Intervention Center in East London, and RDO for Eastern Cape for Autism South Africa, I felt this is something I could introduce here in East London to start with to the young adults and final year students at the Special Schools with ASD units in our area.  The aim would be to teach the young people a skill that they could use in life to be productive and earn an income, however small it may be, but it would help them to feel they are contributing in some way to their own well-being.

I started by approaching Autism SA to get Lungi to East London to come and teach us the skills.  And in September 2016, Lungi came to East London for the first of 4 phases of training.  Autism SA supplied the wooden boards, glue, guillotine and other small materials that she needed for the Train the Trainer course.  I had a lot of interest in the first phase of training and we had a whole classroom full of people, young adults and their parents or caregivers.  I even had some of the schools who sent teachers for the training.  Some of these young people, parents and teachers never came back after the first day of training – transport is a big issue.

We learned to sort the paper, cut the paper, then how to roll the paper into a reed-like stick.  These sticks are the basis of all of our articles that we make and this is the first and major skill that we need to teach and perfect.

We receive very generous weekly donations of the newspaper we use for our project from Dispatch Media and Cambridge Methodist Church via a very wonderful man, Rodger Norman!  For different colours, we often go to GAME, OK Foods, SPAR, etc to collect their promotional flyers and adverts that are left over for a specific colour that we need for a project.  Beautiful articles need a bit of out the box thinking to get the colour we need.  We never paint anything, the only colour we need comes from the newspaper we use.  I will never look at a newspaper the same way again, it does not matter what is written on the page, just tell me what colour it is??

We needed to perfect this one skill to move onto the next stage of our training.  Lungi returned every following month for the next phase of training.  We learned to weave the sticks into a flat mat, we learned to cut a pattern out onto the woven mat, we learned how to glue the edging onto the pattern sides, we learned how to weave a 6 stick pleat to make the handles for our hand bags, we learned how to stitch the bag’s sides and glue in a lining, attach the handle and the fastener / clasp and the decorative button (also make from the rolled sticks) and complete and varnish our handbags.  We then each earned a certificate as a trainer to say we completed all the levels and phases of the training and can now teach others the skills we have learned from Lungi.

After we completed and received our certificates, Lungi handed over the project to us to run as our own!!  With her Blessing.

Along the way I have learned a few things:

Not all people who join our program have the capabilities to roll sticks, weave, sew, pleat, etc. and we may need to consider what they can and cannot do.  We need to work with their strengths and not force them to do what they clearly cannot do.

We also need to know that our program is not for everyone and some young people will start and not like what we are doing – or they do not have the skills required and the parents decide to not bring them back again, they will stop coming to our work group and not complete the training, but we may lose some and we may gain some new people.  We have a number of regulars who attend every week.

The program requires the parent or caregiver to attend with the young person.  This helps to strengthen the group and the bond between the family members.  It is very good to see how parent and child work together.  We teach the skills to both and we ask that the parent or caregiver then work with the young person at home as well.  If the parent or caregivers are not 100% on board with our program, the child will not learn and grow in the skills we are trying to teach.

This group also serves as a social get together for the young people and a support group for the parents who may face similar issues at home and school.  We often celebrate birthdays with cake, have coffee / tea, chat, laugh and just have fun.  The youngsters may not always talk to each other, but they are very aware of each other and keep a close eye on their “friends”.  They get to know each other’s personalities and ‘moods’ and really look out for each other.  We create a better life for our young people, they build a lot of confidence because they have new skills that they can earn money from.  They learn to socialize and fit into a family, and group better without pressure at all.

In the group, we work on better communication skills even with those who cannot verbally communicate.  I have tried to teach proper communication skills to request their needs and express themselves.  WE are using a lot of hand gestures and hand-over-hand assistance – mostly when we are teaching new skills – with those who cannot verbally communicate and a few MAKATON signs are used as well. My son Daniel, Adrian, Rohan and a few of the other young men, can have conversations with each other and the main topics are normally tv programs, series they are watching, movies and some like music as well.  They have exchanged cell numbers and also communicate via sms and whatsapp where they can.  I can also see how the communication and referencing by looking at them when they need help or trying to communicate something spontaneously, this also serves to improve eye contact which is really difficult for them.

The young men in our group range in age from 16 to 21.  They all get on as well as can be expected for a group of young men with Autism.  The youngest of the group even wants to arrange formal pc/internet based gaming and have asked a few of our young guys to join his team.

The pride is very obvious when the young person complete their article they are busy with, or as in the case of Adrian, how many sticks he can roll in 2 hours (332 is his new personal best!).  This is a very important thing for our young people to learn and feel.  They feel pride in their work and completing a project / article that is both beautiful and unique.  You will never find another one like it.  It provides a sense of accomplishment and completion of task.  A task has a clear beginning – the cut paper to be rolled into sticks – to the applying of varnish to the end product to seal it – to the sale of the item and putting money in their bank account or pocket.

We have had a few successful market days where the young people sold their handbags and other items they made.

We encourage them to make as many items as possible, when they sell the items, 90% of the money they make goes to them, 10% comes to the project to buy more glue, clasps and varnish.  We often take orders, we have our own facebook page – East London Autism Newspaper Craft Project – and each young adult has their own “tag” to put on the item they are selling.  This will have the parents email and cell phone number on for future orders.

 

We have now been working for two wonderful years, we have some very dedicated parents and caregivers and most wonderful super star young men – all the young ladies are missing

We meet every Saturday afternoon from 2pm to 4pm at Autism Sinethemba, Cambridge, East London, and we have a break for a few Saturdays during school holidays – us parents have other kids too, you know………………………

As a mom of a child with ASD, my focus changes as he gets older.  When he was 4, I started Autism Sinethemba, when he was in Primary School, I became the SGB Chairperson for his school for 7 years, now that he is a young adult, I needed to find something he could do as an adult to be productive and earn money, this project is it!  Many parents feel the same way,that is why we are successful two years after we started.  We have the commitment of parents who have the same need as I do and the same vision for their young fellows.

Blessings

Antoinette